Mindlessness
I am a bit confused with all this mindfulness talk.
Full of what?
ideas?
opinions?
facts?
proper & improper manners & modes?
If my mind is full all the time
every moment,
every minute,
can I still learn new things?
where would I put them?
do I need to cram them in?
must I let some things go?
In or out, must I keep a mindful eye?
If I don’t contemplate or cogitate am I not being mindful?
Must everything be conscious and intentful?
is that possible?
Must I be intent-filled all the time to be an aware person?
Sounds cumbersome…
When I’m asked to be mindful…
of myself,
my words
my actions
my choices
what does that really mean?
Must my thoughts and deeds,
ruminations and ambulations,
intentions and actions
sing in perfect harmony?
Must grace be in every step,
and shift of weight?
Can I not “jay walk” mindfully?
I’ll look both ways… that’s mindful, right?
or is it just safe?
or because my mom said so?
is that the ‘mindful’ approved choice?
It sure seems to me that when someone asks me
to be
mindful
that there is a ‘thing’ I should know,
a correct option
or observation that must be made.
Must it be fair, just and ethical?
Is that not implied?
Can I not intentionally lie, deceive and manipulate?
Can I consciously choose to do harm, pollute, damage and destroy?
Are my well thought through, planned, charted and mapped out
nefarious ideas not mindful?
Like robbing a store, bank or casino (— Ocean’s 11 style)?
Can we not mindfully
cheat
— I’ll be the bank in monopoly
steal
— look over there
lie
— I swear it’s true
coerce
— come on
?
Have we not seen this type of powerful mindfulness in action?
Do we not have mountains of examples of clear headed wrong doing?
What about mindlessness?
I’ve been told
to get out of my head
to listen to my heart
to feel more
to stop thinking so much…
Am I’m over-thinking this very moment?
(in comparison to what?)
I’m surprised I can think at all with such a full mind.
What about the Buddha and thoughtless meditation?
What about a walk in the woods to clear my mind?
What about the zone?
How about the fits of inspiration, creativity, athleticism, innovation,
when time and thought are erased?
Yogis are taught to still the fluctuations of the mind
because it can easily monkey about
distracting us from the present moment.
Schizophrenics are medicated and institutionalized
because they are ruled by their mind.
Psychologists help to sort clutterful & confused minds
to re-organize & re-order.
to make sense of & clarify.
Sometimes I wish I could be mind empty — mindless.
Not to be bogged down by all the churning,
all the grinding of gears inside.
Open & free, clear & poised
self-suspended in the nothing.
Perhaps if I just give it a rest
until I’m refreshed
I’ll have more energy to carry this load of ideas
and then my days will be full
of some sort of mind.
Perhaps full of emptiness.
