Why do poems have to be so hard?
Sometimes when I read them I feel like a tub of lard.
I don’t understand the words that are spoken.
Oh, my poor brain, it feels so broken.
Sometimes, I feel really stupid.
I mean, who is the diaper man they call Cupid?
I’ve never met him,
God, I’m so dim.
I pray to the poem gods from my knees –
is it Hera, Zeus or Hermes?
I just want to read something simple please,
something to put my mind at ease.
I want to enjoy and have some fun
to rhyme, and to laugh at a clever pun,
without having to have my dictionary in hand
or be bored because it is just so bland.
Some poets make things confusing, vague and unclear.
Like fancy love notes to a dear:
“thou art thou…”
does it make them wow?
Just let it flow, like milk from a cow,
nothing too fancy or high brow.
When they get too confusing
we are in for a bruising.
The mind has to bend and back flip
and stumbling, tumbling as we trip
over big and obscure words
hey, not all of us are literary nerds.
Literary allusions and metaphors galore
I think so hard this is a chore.
Sometimes they reference other poets,
am I the only one that doesn’t know it?
Capitalize and punctuate in weird places –
whatever happened to grammatical social graces.
I can never figure out the rhyme scheme neither
it is like they are purposely being a deceiver,
so that only a few can understand
while the rest of us are completely banned.
Sometimes they even make up words
now, I just think that is absurd.
I guess I am just a simple man
with no elaborate or great big plan
I will just sit in the sun and work on my tan
please, it is hot, pass me a fan.
I like poems that are easy and breezy,
light and wheezy.
Poems that are simple and clear
and lovely, my dear.
Expressing truth within simplicity
with openness and clarity.
Lightly profound, and profoundly light
with words of wisdom for all to delight.
If I were to ever become a poet
I hope that I don’t really blow it.
I’ll make accessible
things that are mysterious
and make things funny
that are supposed to be serious.
I’ll make things silly
that are supposed to be sad
and things peaceful
that are supposed to be mad.
Maybe even turn the right side down
cracking smiles and eliminating frowns.
I’ll even put some pictures in
that way, those that can’t read can also win
and have a chance to play with everyone else
to experience the power, charm and wealth
of the abstract world that has come to life
without a headache or too much strife.
So, from here on out
we are gonna have some fun with this style
we won’t have to pout
so scholars and kids and everyone can smile.
The unknown becomes known
without having to grunt or groan
or take out a knowledge loan.
I’ll create a poetic masterpiece
for man and beast
to taste the feast!
Now isn’t that great, isn’t that grand!
Set sail in the verse
to a far off land.
I’ll show all those smarty pantses
that simple words can inspire great romances.
They are strong, powerful and make us wonder
without having a mental blunder.
Making it easy and clear and fun,
that is all I have for now,
so, I guess,
I am done.