Why do poems have to be so hard?

Sometimes when I read them I feel like a tub of lard.

I don’t understand the words that are spoken.

Oh, my poor brain, it feels so broken.

 

Sometimes, I feel really stupid.

I mean, who is the diaper man they call Cupid?

I’ve never met him,

God, I’m so dim.

I pray to the poem gods from my knees –  

is it Hera, Zeus or Hermes?

I just want to read something simple please,

something to put my mind at ease.

 

I want to enjoy and have some fun

to rhyme, and to laugh at a clever pun,

without having to have my dictionary in hand

or be bored because it is just so bland.

Some poets make things confusing, vague and unclear.

Like fancy love notes to a dear:

“thou art thou…”

does it make them wow?

Just let it flow, like milk from a cow,

nothing too fancy or high brow.

 

When they get too confusing

we are in for a bruising.

The mind has to bend and back flip

and stumbling, tumbling as we trip

over big and obscure words

hey, not all of us are literary nerds.

 

Literary allusions and metaphors galore

I think so hard this is a chore.

Sometimes they reference other poets,

am I the only one that doesn’t know it?

Capitalize and punctuate in weird places –

whatever happened to grammatical social graces.

 

I can never figure out the rhyme scheme neither

it is like they are purposely being a deceiver,

so that only a few can understand

while the rest of us are completely banned.

 

Sometimes they even make up words

now, I just think that is absurd.

I guess I am just a simple man

with no elaborate or great big plan

I will just sit in the sun and work on my tan

please, it is hot, pass me a fan.

 

I like poems that are easy and breezy,

light and wheezy.

Poems that are simple and clear

and lovely, my dear.

Expressing truth within simplicity

with openness and clarity.

Lightly profound, and profoundly light

with words of wisdom for all to delight.

 

If I were to ever become a poet

I hope that I don’t really blow it.

I’ll make accessible

things that are mysterious

and make things funny

that are supposed to be serious.

I’ll make things silly

that are supposed to be sad

and things peaceful

that are supposed to be mad.

Maybe even turn the right side down

cracking smiles and eliminating frowns.

 

I’ll even put some pictures in

that way, those that can’t read can also win

and have a chance to play with everyone else

to experience the power, charm and wealth

of the abstract world that has come to life

without a headache or too much strife.

 

So, from here on out

we are gonna have some fun with this style

we won’t have to pout

so scholars and kids and everyone can smile.

The unknown becomes known

without having to grunt or groan

or take out a knowledge loan.

 

I’ll create a poetic masterpiece

for man and beast

to taste the feast!

Now isn’t that great, isn’t that grand!

Set sail in the verse

to a far off land.

 

I’ll show all those smarty pantses

that simple words can inspire great romances. 

They are strong, powerful and make us wonder

without having a mental blunder.

Making it easy and clear and fun,

that is all I have for now,

so, I guess,

I am done.